One might say that the relationship never really ended even though it was suspended. It took 10 years before they got back together. There were other things, of course, and the fall-out from all of them left both parties unhappy, hurt, and aggravated. Perhaps the back-breaking issue had to do with the wedding of one of them, which found the other being asked to be “best man,” only later demoted to a less distinguished position in the wedding party without an explanation that satisfied him. It had survived time, about 13 years, not a lucky number as it turned out. That relationship had survived distance, when one of them moved 1000 miles away. The two men had been friends from age 14. But, the most egregious of those flaws are not easily ignored, especially if it eventually turns out that it is not only someone else’s ox that your friend gores, but your own.īefore I go on with the problem list, let me tell you a story. Some people try to look for the best and look away from a friend’s moral failures. In any case, this could make you uncomfortable. Sometimes this isn’t really a change, but rather a growing awareness as you get to know him better. You friend may well turn out to be a less moral and upstanding person than you thought he was.For the friendship to survive comfortably, the changes will have to be compatible. You might become more judgmental, he might become more accepting. You might enjoy playing and watching baseball less, he might enjoy it more. Both you and your friend will change over time.And because he is satisfied to have relationships with these limitations. It works because his comrades have, at least tacitly, accepted this. He makes his way through the relationship thicket by keeping both his politics and his religion out of conversations with his long-time buddies. But, if one of you changes or tries to change, convert, or persuade the other too strenuously, God help you (pun intended)! I have a friend who has long found himself in the political and religious minority in the particular part of the country where he resides. It is likely that you will be attracted to people who are like-minded on both of those characteristics. Even a new platonic friend of yours or his might complicate the ease of getting along.
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